Sunday, November 27, 2011

One day at a time and small steps

Kids are all wired differently.  Just like adults, they have different strengths and weaknesses.  My daughter Noah loves to be social and interact with others. It is one of her strengths.  But because she is young, one of her weaknesses is not knowing how to reign that in and be content playing by herself.  I've noticed as she gets older it's getting worst.  Noah doesn't know how to slow down and relax and her independent play skills are lagging as well.  So her daddy and I are starting the process not only of teaching her how to relax again but also how to be content playing on her own.  The thing is....... all kids have to learn how to be content with themselves, if not they will become adults that depend on others constantly to entertain and stimulate them.  I know, because I was one of those adults.  Being content to be by yourself and knowing when to slow down and relax is something that has to be taught to some kids.  It's just as important a skill as learning their ABC's.  I always keep in mind that Noah naturally has alot of energy and is a social butterfly who loves interacting with others.  But I don't let that overshadow the fact that she needs "downtime".  I took the first step tonite.  Even when I'm getting Noah ready for bed she acts so wired up and just won't stay still.  So, now she will have 30 minutes at night, in her room to play by herself "QUIETLY" before we start her bedtime routine; which is books, backrub, and bed.  She did it tonite and she did a great job.  I took her 4 barbie dolls, her build-a-bear and her baby doll.  Oh yeah, I gave her a couple books as well.  I found she was not as winded up when her dad was reading her books tonite.  Hopefully this helps us move in the right direction.  Nothing is good when it is excessive and we have to teach our kids that as well.   Everything in moderation.

Laugh or cry

I am choosing to laugh. I would like to get on the topic of husbands. Are they not some funny people? Granted I love my husband, he is the most awesome husband in the world to me. There are things that I have kept back from my blog just because I never want to give the wrong idea about him. But he is in fact a man, so any woman who has been married knows what I mean. Men are not that different from Each other. When I was younger people use to tell me I was funny, so I figured why not take a stab at it now. I have gotten so serious since I got married, well wait, lemme just say since I "grew up". Lemme just be honest about my dear, sweet husband. Ok, so I normally get up with Noah at around 7am every morning. I get juice snack, breakfast, etc. Ever so often I need a break from getting up in the morning and having to jump right into action, so I ask hubby to get up with Noah . He so willingly does. Well, this morning was one of those mornings. So I get up later on and ask Noah what she ate. She says she had juice, gummies , applesauce crushers. There was a choice of oatmeal, french toast, apples, and cereal. Did you notice that all the items I mentioned require just a little preparation while the one's my hubby and daughter chose have no preparation. I guess I shouldn't be to hard on them. She did have applesauce right? That's healthy......let's not talk about when something goes wrong; something spills or somebody, namely Noah gets hurt. This morning there was applesauce on the floor I said "what happened here". Hubby says, "Noah did that". Did he really think I was questioning "who" did it? I remember that him and Noah were playing one night. I hear Noah crying, I come downstairs and her lip is bleeding. I say again "what happened?" Hubby says "that was Noah, she was playing with (his) exercising wheel and fell on it". My hubby was sitting right next to her playing with her when it happened, but it was all noah's fault right? Did I mention I love my hubby. I have to go now, I am contemplating locking my 4 year old in her room for the day, so my hubby and I can relax. Would that be "abuse" if I let her out to go potty and for meals??

What you want and why???

The heart condition is about the most important thing to God when it comes to His people.  "The Heart Condition".  One might call the "heart condition"  our motives.  Many times as women we get concerned about things getting done.  We have a lot to do right?!!.  Well, not necessarily according to God.  We have created a set of values in our lives and part of them are not God's values.  Is that ok???  I don't know..............................We have the special gifts from the Holy Spirit.   These gifts are different from one believer to the next.   The Holy Spirit also gives us the motivation, inspiration, and energy to pursue those things in our daily lives.  When that inspiration, motivation, and energy are not there it's hard to do certain things.  Back to the "gifts"..................................................I find that you see some people shining ever so brightly in their gifts while others, you just see a flicker.  I'm not comparing, it's more of an observation.  I think we should all shine brightly in our gifts.  I believe the Holy Spirit gives us power to do that.  But I believe sometimes we spend so much time trying to do other things by our own power that those gifts get overshadowed by areas of our lives where we are not quite as gift.  Joyce Myers said something during one of her sermons that I will never forget.  She said that there are things that we will never be great at no matter how hard we practice or try.   She said on a scale of 1 to 10 we might be able to grow to a 5 in those areas.  She said that we need to spend more time nurturing the areas where we are strong because the world doesn't need a bunch of "5s".  She said to spend time functioning in our strengths.  Not our weaknesses.  Even now that resonates with me so strong.  What do we do about our weaknesses?  The word that comes to mind.  DELEGATE!!!. 

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Random, fun, useful

Caramel brûlée latte - the first one I have tried in years that I actually like. Bottoms up!
Me time today! I have work waiting for me at home but I really felt the need to go another direction today. At barnes and nobles looking at the folowwing books: "good enough is the new perfect" and " happy chaos"

Here is a good quote for moms; "you can do anything-this doesn't mean you have to do everything. How appropriate for today.

More random stuff...... I declared that I would absolutely not wear ugg boots this year. But I do miss the convenience of them. But I will resist temptation to get some. They just are not that sexy.......I refuse to let my pregnancy and a new baby take my sexy away. Granted I am not glamorous most days. But I wear my leggings instead of sweats most of the time and my hubby likes me in my leggings, it is easier for me to be comfortable and still show off my figure. I personally think leggings are a great choice for pregnancy. So much you can do with them. I am scared uggs might cause me to regress back to frumpyville.

What else..................pregnancy is going grat. Baby is always moving and it is so early. Very exciting. I am so excited to meet this little active soul.

Loving the show "reed between the lines". Can't wait to see Tyler perry's new series. Noah is turning 4 next week and impresses me every day with just who she is and who she is becoming. Have alot of deep stuff on my mind but just don't feel like being deep.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Out of a joyful heart

When your  heart swells with the overwhelming desire to give so much more to your family and community what do you do with that?  I haven't really asked myself that question until today.  Some may say act on it, that is part true but normally when your heart swells with the desire to give the desire is bigger than your energy level, your wallet or your time will allow at that very moment.  Others may say pray about it; you can't go wrong with that option.  I believe you should pray before you act on anything.  But my main point today is a swelled heart can go in two directions.  It can become a joyful heart because even though you can't fathom how you are going to do all that you want to, you are just glad to care enough to want to do so much for others.  It can also become and burdened and troubled heart because you are trying to do all your heart desires in your own strength and too quickly..  I believe that when you hit points in your life where your heart is swelled with the desire to give in so many places, it's important to pray and not to try to figure out how you are going to do it all, but rather just be happy that you want to!!!!  Because God is doing a work in  you and you have to let Him be faithful and just to complete it until Christ returns.  God's work is too big for you.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Maybe, maybe not...................

Usually I would have in my mind a plan for what I plan to get done tomorrow.  A plan that I very much need, but I'm feeling so under the weather today, I don't know what I'm going to be able to do tomorrow.  There are not many allergy meds out there that are safe for pregnant women.  The one's that are, don't work very well for me.  So I'm hoping this weather passes and it gets cold again so my allergies can feel better.  I'm really going to pray for that.  I have a feeling that I'm going to feel like this until the weather turns back cold again.  I'm hoping my family will get a home cooked meal tomorrow, but maybe they will and maybe they won't.  I'm hoping to do some work around the house, but I don't know.  I'm just hoping to be productive and be able to play with Noah a little bit.  But I don't  know about that either.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Busy woman???

I use to browse bookshelves at times when I first became a mom and I would see "Busy Mom's Guide to.......", and I would say to myself "I'm not one of 'those'". I'm not a "busy mom". "This book is not for me". But oh how the tables turn and a revelation comes. Maybe I've been in denial on some level. But I looked at my week this week and I've been running errands everyday plus getting dinner cooked for my family, plus trying to do what little cleaning I could, plus trying to stop and spend time focusing on God and His word, plus spending quality time with Noah, plus the intimate wifely duties and not to forget the family business. I have stuff to post on eBay today, an invoice to do and I have to catch up on some other accounting things. Today as I looked at all this I said to myself "Ande, you are now officially a 'busy mom'. Now maybe some of those books might help me. Admitting that I'm a busy mom might help me to take it easy on myself in terms of the things I cannot seem to get to. It is all about priorities, you can't do it all. The needs of your family members should determine priorities, not your own personal agenda.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Goals in life

I think it's important to have goals in life, things that you are passionate about achieving.  Everybody has different goals.  I don't judge others for their goals and I don't really care who judges me.  I think as a mom or dad when you are focused on your goals you have to remember their is a little person watching and in a lot of cases ready to replicate the life you are living.  When I got saved, I wanted to be the best "child of God" I could be.  I won't say "best Christian" because I know I'm human and I wasn't looking to perform for God.  But I knew I wanted to be a darn good child to my Father.  I still feel that way.  When I got married, I wanted to be the best darn wife I could be to my husband.  That was my goal.  It still is.  But I always have to keep in mind that only God knows what kind of wife Reggie needs, what things are important to our marriage and what things are not important so in order to be the best darn wife I can be to Reggie.......I have to be in tune to God and in tune to my husband.  Over the years I've realized there are things concerning "life at home" that were important to me but not all that important to him.   We all know that women know how to "make a home" but at the same time I had to let go of things that were robbing our marriage.  While  there are certain things I want in a home, certain things I want to do with our home; I won't do it at the expense of our marriage.  When I became a mom I wanted to be the best darn mom I could be.  To me that meant being accountable for all aspects of my child's life.  In the areas of health, Reggie and I have been the main decision makers, not our doctors.  When it comes to her education, we laid that foundation at home; now that she is in school I am careful to not place the responsibility of her education completely on them.  It is still my responsibility, her school is a part of a team of people that God has sent to us to help us in that area.  But Reggie and I are still the one's that God holds accountable.  In the area of her relationship with God, it is our responsibility to share God's word with her and to parent her in such a way where it will point her to God and not point her away from God.  We want her to feel the stability and the love from God through our parenting but we don't won't to try to be God in her life.  We are not perfect but we want to point her in the direction of the PERFECT PARENT.  Noah needs to know that as her parents, it is inevitable that we will fail her and disappoint her at times, but she need to know that God will never fail her.  This e-mail pretty much encompass my goals in life,  I would love to be able to minister and encourage the hearts of other women along the way.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Switching Gears

The need to switch gears.  Obviously moms have tons of things to do and roles to play, things to think about and be concerned about on a daily basis.  This can all get tiring at time and rather overwhelming.  I am learning of my own unique need to switch gears.  Give my mind some time to live somewhere else for a day.  Change my focus just for a day.  Ever so often I need a day where my mind is not in "the housework", not focused on Noah, cooking, doing dishes, doing laundry, etc.  Sometimes I do have to release my mind from that address and take up a different address in my mind.  If you don't that place of "responsibility" can become a mental prison instead of blessing.  This is something I learned very recently about myself.  I actually have learned the signs that indicate I need to take a break.  I normally start to feel intimidated by my responsibilities and I question if I can handle another day of it.  This has been kind of a revelation to me, because it doesn't happen all the time.  Maybe once every 2 to 3 weeks.  It's always the same thing that happens.  So I've learned that it's my mind's way of telling me that I need a mental break.  That's why it's so good to know yourself and your limitations.  When you have certain feelings of being overwhelmed come over you in certain intervals throughout the month or the year and it's always the same thing that happens then it's probably your body's way of trying to tell you that you need to switch gears.  It's hard to switch gears because life doesn't stop.  Your house doesn't get clean by itself, food doesn't cook itself, young children cannot raise themselves, your husband doesn't stop needing you to be his wife.  The messes will continue to made even if you haven't cleaned up the previous mess, you family might eat junk food for a day because they still are going to eat even if you haven't cooked, etc.  You get my drift.  But you have to do it.  I believe if you are in tune with God, all will go well when you do.  Walk with God and He will be a lamp to your feet and a light to your path.  But you can't let anything about your circumstances determine how you approach each day.  You have to let God determine what your attitude will be.  Sometimes you might spend the day crying, that is not a bad thing.  You just might have needed to let some things out of your system.  You never know what you are going to need on even given day but God knows your needs.  

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Colossians 4:2

Colossians 4:2 Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving;

I am susceptible to easy spirals into panic attacks.  There are triggers that cause it and I try to be very aware of those triggers.  But today was a day I could of easily got down that road.  I don't know why but some of us are just more prone to panic, anxiety, and depression.  The thing I struggle with most is allowing myself to become overwhelmed.  To many things on my mind.  My mental to-do list starts to recite itself to me.  At that point, all I one to do is jump up running from one thing to the next trying to get things done, but I have learned far too many times............that's the wrong way to respond, for me anyway.  When I do that it feeds into anxiety and worry.  Normally, I have to do the exact opposite; and that is to be still, relax, focus on God and who He is and let all those other things shrink all those other things shrink down to the size they should be in terms of importance.  The scripture above says to be vigilant in prayer.  Dictionary.com has the following meanings for "vigilant"

vig·i·lant

[vij-uh-luhnt]  
adjective
1.
keenly watchful to detect danger; wary: a vigilant sentry.
2.
ever awake and alert; sleeplessly watchful.
 
I don't take enough to to sit as Jesus's feet, because I'm too worried about "getting things done".  But I believe God has peace and rest for me there
At Jesus's feet life is not complicated, because Jesus makes it simple.
But people, most people like to make life complicated.  I don't think it has to be.
 

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Being Thankful

Even though Halloween was an exhausting day.  It really made me step back and think about the season we are going into.  Thank God for the seasons.  In the Fall the leaves on the trees turn beautiful colors and provide for an amazing landscape.  It begs reason to pause and consider.  Yesterday I paused and considered.  We are going to celebrating Thanksgiving and pretty soon Christmas.  This is my favorite part of the year because I get to see family and just share in festive times and I love that!!!.  Yesterday I said to myself, "Ande it's time to stop and enjoy".   This should be the season of stopping to enjoy.  Stopping to enjoy the beauty in nature, the time with family and friends; and the good food.  Take the time to enjoy your days as we go into the holiday season.  We have been very busy during the first half of this year, right on through the summer.  Things are finally slowing down. I plan on slowing down to take everything in.  There will be time to get back to the hustle and bustle next year.

First Video of myself

I have been wanting to add videos to my blog for awhile.  This is my first one.  So I'm a little nervous.  But there will be more to come.  The thing I'm most excited about is doing videos interviewing other women who are at pivotal points in their lives.  I'm hoping I can capture them fresh in what they are going through to talk about their feelings, their plans, their faith, their lessons learned going forward, and most importantly their dreams.

ALL ABOUT DESIGN!!!!

Ephesians 2:10
For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Design is very important in the way we decide to walk about to and fro in this world.  We live in a world full of influences to be like this person or that person.  We are all truly unique.  God is our Creator and He knows what kind of life we were designed to live and how we were designed to go about our business in this world.  I believe there are many occasions where some of us fight against our unique designs.  As women we feel pressure to conform in so many different ways.  God has designed an amazing role for women to play in this story of life.  It is diverse and multi-faceted.  However, if you start adding the "worlds" pressures to conform along with your god-given roles it can easily be overwhelming.  I think one of the most important pieces of information one can know about oneself is what your unique Godly design is and how it ties into the different aspects of your life.  We have a purpose and we are to fulfill it in every aspect about the way we live our lives.  Our children, have a unique design and I believe it's important as a parent to be tuned into that, so you can make the decisions for your child that are geared towards their design.  It's not always easy, but through prayer God can show you.  I know God has shown Reggie and I some things concerning Noah's design.  Noah is busy, constructive, and high energy.  She loves to learn new things.  She seems to enjoy learning things that are going to empower her.  She loves learning about God and she loves learning the skills that will be necessary for her to read and write.  She enjoys interaction with others.  She is highly interactive and socially mature.  We try to make decisions for her that are geared toward these things.  I pray that God continues to not only guide me in making the right decisions for Noah based on her purpose and design but also for myself based on my purpose and design.  He designed us with purpose in mind but only He can show us what that is.

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