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No more feeling trapped

When I first started being a full-time homemaker, it became a snare to me.  I was very hard on myself and put alot of expectations on myself that were not from God.  My husband would get up early in the morning and go to work and I always felt like I couldn't sleep late.  Not that I got up with him but I remember feeling guilty if I slept past like 9:00am.  Honestly, I felt guilty doing alot of things.  Things that if I could of done freely, I would probably be a lot further then I am now in my writing and other giftings that God has given me.  I spent 2 days a week at home cleaning.  The other 3 days, I struggled.  When I would go to the bookstore to read, I felt guilty.  I would think "Is it fair that I get to relax at the bookstore while my husband out working to provide for us?".  Sometimes I would want to go to the Amish market and eat breakfast.  They had a restaurant in the Amish market with great breakfast.  I would think "Is it fair that I should spend money that my husband is bringing in to relax at a restaurant while he is out working hard to provide?"  I had issues spending money when I wasn't the one earning it, I had issues relaxing.  I had problems receiving from my husband when he wanted me to go shopping for nice things.  We didn't have kids yet.  After we had kids, I remember saying to myself that if I ever got another chance to be at home.  I would sleep when I was sleepy and I wouldn't feel guilty about doing things to enjoy myself.   I took so much for granted before we had kids.  Little did I know there was a time coming where I wouldn't have those liberties because the kids would take up that time and energy.  But even if we didn't have kids, it was still wrong thinking and therefore became a snare.

As the years have gone by, God has been showing me how unique we all are from one another.  He has shown me that we shouldn't beat ourselves up for those differences.  When given the opportunity to design a life that is suitable to how God has uniquely created us, we should seize the opportunity.    These opportunities are not always available.  But that time has come back around for me.  And I've learned a lot.  I feel like God is slowly allowing me another chance to be at home without it being a snare to me.  I feel like he delivered me from the snare.  Psalm 91 tells us that He will deliver us from the snare of the fowler.  There are certain good things in life that can become a trap for us.  But God can deliver us from that in His time so that we can enjoy the good things in our lives.   
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