womenNtune

When I first started being a full-time homemaker, it became a snare to me.  I was very hard on myself and put alot of expectations on myself that were not from God.  My husband would get up early in the morning and go to work and I always felt like I couldn't sleep late.  Not that I got up with him but I remember feeling guilty if I slept past like 9:00am.  Honestly, I felt guilty doing alot of things.  Things that if I could of done freely, I would probably be a lot further then I am now in my writing and other giftings that God has given me.  I spent 2 days a week at home cleaning.  The other 3 days, I struggled.  When I would go to the bookstore to read, I felt guilty.  I would think "Is it fair that I get to relax at the bookstore while my husband out working to provide for us?".  Sometimes I would want to go to the Amish market and eat breakfast.  They had a restaurant in the Amish market with great breakfast.  I would think "Is it fair that I should spend mo

 I got consumed with concern and worry this week and obsessive about some other things that I won't mention.  All I will say is that it sent me spiraling into this abyss, cycling in and out of "worry" and "obsession", then "worry" again and "obsession" AGAIN.  Worried about some things going on in my son's first grade class and obsessing about work and money.  That was my week "worrying and obsessing".  It consumed me, I don't think I did anything else until today and I can't believe it's Friday.  The whole week spent in "worrying and obsessing" I Can't even tell you how badly I needed to blog today. This is truly my therapy.  Well I actually have a few "therapies"  If you haven't already noticed that I'm a mess, I'm sure I will have you convinced after reading this post.  Here we go!!! I have been watching a new Netflix series called the "Innocents", which I have sto

Diary of a broke adult Thursday 6:47 It was 5:05 on a Thursday.   I got home feeling down about my bank account being so low on funds again.   I open my bank app, type in my password and realized that I only have eight dollars and some cents in my account.   I know my husband put money in my account.   When I take a look at the transactions, I see that he put $40 in my account yesterday.   Where did it all go???   I hadn’t been out spending money.   I notice a charge from the Family Mart, in my neighborhood.   It was suspect because I thought that had already hit my account.   I performed a search of transactions with “Family Mart” and something from the barbershop, that I take my son to, came up.   Now I knew that I had some problems with their system, that day, when I took my son to get his hair cut.   They couldn’t perform the transaction and after one attempt, we cancelled it. I went to the ATM to get cash, to pay.   I’m looking at this transaction like “What!!!!??   They

Doubting is insanity!!  We all struggle with it at some point or another in our lives.  But that doesn't change the fact that it is insanity.  The foremost expert on this topic says that he who doubts should not suppose that he will receive anything from God.  James 1:5 says that "he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. (New King James Version). I would call God the foremost expert on the topic.  There are other experts out there.  Psychologists,  New Thought Leaders, Counselors, Minsters, Pastors, Doctors.  Many of them will tell you that "doubting and worrying always produces negative symptoms in your mind and body".  Spiritual Bites ,    Journey to your miracle

Ephesians 2:10 For we are His workmanship , created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. Design is very important in the way we decide to walk about to and fro in this world.  We live in a world full of influences to be like this person or that person.  We are all truly unique.  God is our Creator and He knows what kind of life we were designed to live and how we were designed to go about our business in this world.  I believe there are many occasions where some of us fight against our unique designs.  As women we feel pressure to conform in so many different ways.  God has designed an amazing role for women to play in this story of life.  It is diverse and multi-faceted.  However, if you start adding the "worlds" pressures to conform along with your god-given roles it can easily be overwhelming.  I think one of the most important pieces of information one can know about oneself is what your unique Godly design is and h

When I started this blog it was suppose to be my uncensored space in a sense.  I place for me to reflect, ponder, and dissect the issues of my everyday life.  I don't and didn't really think many people were reading it.  I kind of still wonder if I'm one of the blogs that people glance at and say "nothing interesting here" and move on.  I know it's been helpful to me, but I wonder who else it's been helpful too.  I wonder how important it is that I put a voice to the going's on of my life on a daily basis.  While I am very interested in the lives of others I don't know if people are that interested in my life.  Someone recently has caused me to think and pray about the voice that God has given me in a lost and hurting world.  There was a time where I was very vocal about my faith in God and my belief about what he would do in my life and the life of others.  That voice was quieted a little by past hurts and disappointments.  Even though there is a

When I started this blog, I declared it as "my space".  My therapeutic space to go through life's trials and triumphs.  But sometimes when people start reading your blog you start to question what to share.  But I love being a transparent person and I think I want to get back to doing this on the blog.  I am loving my daughter more and more everyday.  I really think my love will always increase with every passing day for her.  As  she grows God is revealing layer upon layer of her beautiful personality.  I find myself fixating on every little thing about her because she is growing so fast.  She started going to school 5 days a week about 2 weeks ago and she hasn't complained not once.  I have to believe that it's a result of constant prayer for her concerning school.  She is my beautiful little gem!  I'm loving our marriage.  Although we have our ups and downs, our arguments;  Our marriage is the most beautiful relationship I have ever experienced with another

There are so many beliefs out there in terms of what it "should" look like to be a Christian.  Some think Christians should be poor, some think Christians should be rich.  Some know that how much you have or don't have is no indication of where you are in your walk with God.  I was reading this scripture today (Philippians 4:12,13) and Paul said that he has learned to both abound and to suffer need and then he goes on to say that he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him.  This scripture really caught my attention because of the context in which it was used.  Did you ever think this scripture would be used in the context of when you're rich, rolling in the dough and you need Christ to strengthen you so you can do it.  I guess we do.  I guess when we abound, we need Christ to strengthen us against the temptations that come along with that, so we conduct ourselves properly in the Lord.  I imagine Christ can strengthen us so that we don't overindulge an

Saturdays are my "Don't take life too seriously" day. Saturdays are my "Don't worry how much T.V. my daughter watches" day. Saturdays are my "Avoid cleaning like the plague" day. Saturdays are my "Don't worry about my family's nutrition" day. Saturdays are definitely my sabbath days.  See on Friday things are kind of tapering to go into my Sabbath day.  Like I normally don't cook on Fridays, but I do clean and make sure Noah is occupied with fun productive activities.  Sundays are like my jumpstart for the week.  I jump back on the cleaning bandwagon on Sunday, the cooking bandwagon too.  I'm back to doing activities with Noah and I'm thinking about the week ahead.  As God would have it, I do only has 1 day a week for a day of rest and thank God for it.  TGIS

Mondays are actually the only day of the week where I intentionally focus the majority of my attention on Noah.  It's kind of "Spotlight on Noah" day.  I was a little tired today, so I wasn't as energetic as I normally am but we were still able to get out to our new, neat little place we found, that has like 12 swingsets inside a showroom with 2 big trampolines.  It's this company that sells swingsets and slides.  They have a freeplay twice a week in their showroom that's free for kids 8 and under from 10am -1pm.  I'm keeping it a secret, because as of now not many people know about it.  We made it to that, which gives me a chance to run around with Noah a little bit and jump on the trampoline with her and stuff.  Then we went to the Vitamin Shoppe.  We vacuumed the car and came home.  She had a little T.V. time, ate lunch, bathroom Then we hung out in her room reading books and going over her sight words.  Then we designed an invitation to give to her dad

I believe the answer is "yes".  I mean didn't it hurt Jesus when He was nailed to the cross? Although He was God, He had taken on human form.  It hurt Him just as bad as it would hurt any of us.  Didn't it hurt Jesus while He suffered for our sin.  He was without sin.  He was the only perfect man that walked the face of the earth.  But He was a man and it hurt Him.  If God was not hurting for His people, why would He send His only son, Jesus Christ to die for us.  God took action and these actions had to come from a place of grief and compassion for His people.  So yes, we have hurt Him and continue to hurt Him when we reject Him.  He does hurt because He loves us.  See, God is the inventor of love.  He is the source of true love, the only source.  God has made us the object of his affection.  It was a love affair that started in the garden of Eden long ago,  God didn't just want to "create" something, He yearned for a relationship with His creation.  Ev

Once upon of time there was a girl and God gave that little girl a violin and she enjoyed that violin and played very well.  When she got older, God came to her and said "Remember I gave you a violin, won't you play it for me?"  The girl said "I don't feel like playing it, plus it's not that important to anybody.". On night the same young woman was sitting on the couch and she heard a tune in her head.  She thought "Maybe I should get up and write down the notes to this tune" Then she said "No, I don't feel like it and it's not that important to anyone." On another night, the same young woman had a particular feeling of joy in her heart and she wanted to express it in music but she thought to herself "No, I don't feel like it plus it's not that important to anyone".  Then God said to her "It's important to me.  I want to hear it.  Would I have given you this wonderful gift of being able to play t

It's funny how people will believe these author's of all these "Self-Help" books but won't believe what the bible says.  I know it's hard to believe someone that you can't see.  But God is more "real" then any person I've ever seen with the naked eye.  I would surely believe Him over anybody else.  Not only is He my Father, but my closest friend.  We live in a fallen world and it has invaded our family structure, so we don't always have good examples of what fathers should be to their children.  We do have a Father in heaven and if we let Him he will take authority over our lives and guide us along a path that will always lead to Him.  Everyday we can find comfort and peace in Him because it is His to give to us.  We can't find peace anywhere else.  Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace, you can't find it with anyone else.  Thank God that I am at peace with Him now and I am no longer at enmity with Him

Jesus tells his disciples "lo, I am with you always, even until the end of the age".(Matthew 28:20).  This was a very comforting thought in my devotional today.  It's my Father telling me, he will always be with me.  Who doesn't want that.  When you know your Father is with you, you can stand tall.  When your Father is with you, you can walk boldly.  When your Father is with you, you can love passionately.  When your Father is with you, you can give of yourself completely.  When your Father is with you, you don't have to be scared.  When your Father is with you, you feel accepted.  When your Father is with you, you feel strong.  When your Father is with you, you feel free.  The waves of life beat against and the current of life tries to drag you away, but you can take comfort that you are safe in the shadow of His wings and nothing can take you out of the palm of His hand.  You may feel the beat of the waves but they won't take you down.  You may feel the pu

Almost 10 years ago I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior.  God somehow got me to the place and time of my conversion.  I can't take credit it.  Somehow God saved me.  I really don't know how He did it, He just did.  I don't know how in the world He reached into my heart and turned it towards Him.  Turning away from the partying, the drinking, the sex.  How in the world?  It wasn't an intellectual process of my thinking these things through and deciding somehow that they were not beneficial for me.  No, that wasn't what happened.  I know for a long time I wanted something better for my life, but I didn't know what that was or how to get there, but God did!  It was all God.  He appealed to my heart in a way that only He can to draw me to Himself and to the life He wants for me.  Trust me, God has a good plan for our lives if we follow His plan.  Then I got married almost 5 years ago.  I'm not going to lie it was hard in the beginning.  Your

Sometimes.............ok, I'm lying.............Many times, I wake up and I don't feel ready to face the day. My to-do lists along with my aspirations and desires seem to crush me before I can even get started. I get overwhelmed at the very thought of tackling the various things on my plate and on my mind. Then I freeze. You know like when a deer gets caught in front of the headlights of a car in the middle of the night; he freezes right in the middle of the road. Today I had that very situation. So I stopped and took a look at myself. These days I don't like to spend too much time concentrating on myself, because it's not very fruitful. I'd rather look at God. There are times where it is beneficial for me to stop and take a look at what's going on with me (my thoughts, my heart, etc.) I only take a pause.Today, I considered and I said to myself and maybe God was listening (wink) "Can I just take peek inside my life and look at what's going on o

I love my little girl, Noah. There are times where Noah does some things that warrant more than a timeout or spanking. She gets an actual punishment. The punishments normally have the most impact on her. Most of the time she loses her T.v. Shows for an extended period of time, like for a whole day. If she misbehaves before bedtime and does one of those specific things that warrant a punishment I will let her know she gets no T.V. in the morning, which is her favorite time to watch T.V. This morning Noah is without her "Shows". When I start to feel bad about punishing her, I just remind myself of how much her behavior has improved in other areas as a result of being punished. I remind myself of some of the things she use to do and she doesn't anymore because of being punished. She has done well and I'm very proud of her, but I realize that I have to continue to allow her to experience the consequences of her bad behavior so she can continue to grow and learn.