Skip to main content

Posts

The best fight ever...............

Marriage.................................It's not easy.  It is a colorful creation full of ups and downs, highs and lows.  And some desperate times.  It cannot be done without God. It is His invention and only He can navigate you through it.  But marriage is worth fighting for.  You don't always have the energy to fight anymore and that's ok.  It's ok to not be ok.  It's ok to not be ok with your marriage.  It's ok to not be ok with your life.  Just know that not being ok, with your marriage, doesn't mean that it's over.  Not being ok, with your life, doesn't mean that its over.   In the last couple weeks I have struggled with temptations of epic magnitude.  God has seen me in my struggle.  Struggling with my emotions.  Struggling with my desires.  Struggling to stay faithful.  He saw me. He didn't look at me and say "I can't believe you are thinking this".  He didn't look at me ans say "I can't believe you are
Recent posts

How do you handle your truth

God is speaking to me and I can't focus on anything else right now.  I'm trying to get my homework done but I can't.  In this moment nothing else matters but what I hear.  T his is about love, this about your truth, and what to do with the bigness of that truth.  "Truth is huge and cannot be contained .  We do try to contain our truth though.  We try to contain it in the way we dress, in the way we talk, in the way we talk, in the way we move about in this world.  This is because many of us are scared of our truth.  Many of us are scared of what it might do to our relationships, our families, our careers even.  T ruth is not always pretty, not always cut and dry, and can be downright messy most of the time .  But we know without a doubt that "truth" is good.  Jesus said that when we know the truth, the truth makes us free (John 8,32) 31  Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. 32  And you sha

Think before you defend yourself

I get on social media and I do my best not to be critical of anyone.  It's not my place.  I do find it kind of interested how personal relationships, insecurities, and hurts are expressed where the whole world can see.  Social media is like this enigma that continues to spark my interest.  I find myself asking "why would he/she share something so deep and personal with people who don't know them or even care?".  I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing.  I just find myself being very curious and intrigued about why? There is one trend I see, on social media, that sparks a bit of concern.  The amount of time we spend defending ourselves and our decisions on social media.  I get concerned because I realize that when we spend a "noticeable" amount of time defending ourselves publicly, it is a strong indication that their is a much bigger private battle going on within .  Social media speaks volumes to me about inner battles we go through. A thou

Adventures with God.

Honestly, I felt like I had to document this.  Lately God has been speaking to me.  He has been speaking about wanting to do great things through me.  But what He has told is that He cannot do that if I don't learn to stop trying to figure out how I'm going to get things done.  I am a person who likes to know "how" I'm going to do something "before" I do it.  I am a natural strategist.  God wants to do things through me that are bigger than me and bigger than my ability to strategize .  It's not that God doesn't want us to use our abilities to plan and strategize.  He most certainly does.  He just doesn't want those abilities to get in the way of trusting Him and taking big steps of faith . He wants us to get excited when He brings things in our path that we cannot do in our own strength.  He wants us to be happy when He brings something in our path where we cannot even conceive of how it's going to get done.   Again, I say "

Marriage help

It was Tuesday and my daughter normally goes to dance for 2 hours.  I normally drop her off and then go to the bookstore and do some reading until it's time to pick her up.  Well she wasn't feeling well after school and did not go to dance.  This change in schedule really threw me off.  I knew I was sensitive to changes in routine but I didn't realize just how sensitive I was.  Honestly, I didn't know what to do with myself.  Nothing felt right.  My husband told me that I needed to do something, that I needed to go to the bookstore anyway or take a break.  Even though I did not take his advice this time, he was right and I will take his advice going forward.  He is learning so much about me, my needs, and the best way for me to operate.  I'm realizing that God uses our husbands to mold and shape us into the wives that He wants us to be.  Today is Thursday and I had another situation occur at my kids' school.  I was upset about how a couple of things were han

No more feeling trapped

When I first started being a full-time homemaker, it became a snare to me.  I was very hard on myself and put alot of expectations on myself that were not from God.  My husband would get up early in the morning and go to work and I always felt like I couldn't sleep late.  Not that I got up with him but I remember feeling guilty if I slept past like 9:00am.  Honestly, I felt guilty doing alot of things.  Things that if I could of done freely, I would probably be a lot further then I am now in my writing and other giftings that God has given me.  I spent 2 days a week at home cleaning.  The other 3 days, I struggled.  When I would go to the bookstore to read, I felt guilty.  I would think "Is it fair that I get to relax at the bookstore while my husband out working to provide for us?".  Sometimes I would want to go to the Amish market and eat breakfast.  They had a restaurant in the Amish market with great breakfast.  I would think "Is it fair that I should spend mo

The dirty truth about discipline

I got up this morning, went through the 2 hour process of getting my kids ready for school.  Once they were at school I came back home and decided I was going to read my bible, reflect on some things, and write some things down in my planner.  Well guess what?????  A wave of drowsiness washed over me.....................I had coffee in my hand and I still got so sleepy.  So sleepy that I absolutely had to allow myself to drift off into a slumber.  I had scheduled a workout at my favorite workout spot, Orange Theory.  But I was so sleepy that I was tempted to cancel.  Thanks to Orange Theory you can't cancel, the same day, via their app.  You have to call and even then you might lose your class that you paid for.  They normally have a waiting list for classes.  With that said I forced my butt up and into action to get to my class.  I'm so thankful to Orange Theory and the way they promote accountability, especially during this special time in my life.  See God has me focused