womenNtune

     I went through depression 12+ years ago.  I was in my 20s.  I had just became a follower of Christ.  Not many months after that some dark times followed.  Life seemed well on the outside.  But for some reason on the inside there was a deep gloom and darkness.  It was like living in a dark tunnel with a glimpse of light.  I knew that light was Jesus.  It was only a glimpse of it though.  I didn't understand why I felt the way that I felt.  Something was wrong but I didn't know what.  I felt trapped and unable to get of of the dark gloom that had surrounded me.  Why couldn't I feel happiness and joy anymore??  I didn't understand.  I would suffer from horrific stomach cramps.  My stomach would get in knots.  I didn't tell anyone because I didn't think they would understand.  Hell, I didn't even understand.  I knew they would look at me and say "What reason do you have to be depr...

Have you ever thought that you can't get back the time that you lost?  The years that you lost?  The opportunities that you wasted?  Well I once thought that way.  Many years of my young adult life were spent struggling as a result of one bad decision after another.  Bad financial decisions, bad relationship decisions, bad decisions with my body, bad decisions with my education.  There was a time I thought those opportunities were lost. At forty one years old, it honestly feels like God has restored what was lost.  I am a college student again, I have financial stability again,  I am excited about all the opportunities before me, just like my younger self, before the mistakes that sent my life spiraling downward.  I'm here again standing in a very similar place to that of when I was 19 and 20, in my early years of college.  I haven't stood in this place since then.  There is one difference...........I was not walking with God th...

 I got consumed with concern and worry this week and obsessive about some other things that I won't mention.  All I will say is that it sent me spiraling into this abyss, cycling in and out of "worry" and "obsession", then "worry" again and "obsession" AGAIN.  Worried about some things going on in my son's first grade class and obsessing about work and money.  That was my week "worrying and obsessing".  It consumed me, I don't think I did anything else until today and I can't believe it's Friday.  The whole week spent in "worrying and obsessing" I Can't even tell you how badly I needed to blog today. This is truly my therapy.  Well I actually have a few "therapies"  If you haven't already noticed that I'm a mess, I'm sure I will have you convinced after reading this post.  Here we go!!! I have been watching a new Netflix series called the "Innocents", which I have sto...

Honest Moment - I have struggled with "Social Media".  It's very overwhelming for me and overstimulating.  I don't think Social Media is bad and I do know there is usefulness in it.  But there is so much information coming at you, 24/7.  Truly the "Information Highway".  In addition to that, you have a lot of "coaches" out there.  Not that "coaching" is bad, but there are so many telling you you need to do this or "no, you need to do that".  There is profit in all of it but I just think we each have to find the right fit for us.  While social media has it's benefits, there are also some downfalls to it.  It has contributed to increased depression in some people.  For some of our young people, they think social media is "real life" and "real relationships".  As a result they can tend to ignore the people and the things around them.  Adults do it to.  Social Media can be addictive if your not careful.  It...

 One of the most important parts of the morning is my coffee mug.   As I rise early and it's still dark,   I creep downstairs and I know I don't need any other light except the blue light on my Keurig .   I quietly fumble around in my cabinets for a coffee mug.   Then a get my creamer out of the fridge.   As a look at my Keurig, I see the water level is low, but it looks like there just might be enough water for one cup.   I take a chance, risking the disappointment of those flashing words on the screen "needs more water".   But my risk pays off and it turns out I have just enough to meet my need at that moment.   What I blessing it is!!   With pure delight, I run upstairs to my room, quietly as not to wake anyone.   My alone time with God is so important. Still without any lights on, I open one of my blinds.   So I can bring in the daylight thinking about God.   I know that in the morning if I get up and seek Him. ...

I am bursting with stuff to share, but really haven't known if it's the time to share it.  Or even if this is the platform.  There have been some foundational lessons that God has been teaching me.  Gosh, I haven't blogged so long.  I don't know where to start.  I long to connect with my readers on  a more personal level.  I don't know how many of you are married.  But statistically marriages will go through a crisis about every 10 years.  It could be health, financial, loss of a loved one, parenting issues, etc.  My husband and I went through our first crisis last year, and guess what?  Last year was our 10th year of marriage.  Ours was financial.  Honestly, it went on for about 2 years but reached the worst of it last year.  We were in danger of losing our home.  The only reason we are in our home today is because God used our family and our church to help us.  But it was rough for awhile and it truly ...

The reward of "no reaction".  Many times in life, when things get rough, or we get uncomfortable, or we have a bad day, we go into "fight or flight" mode.  This can be dangerous when there is no real threat.  "Having a rough day" does not mean you are in danger.  Being uncomfortable with the current season of your life does not mean you are in danger.  I say this because I believe we are so conditioned to react.  We are a culture that wants to medicate everything.  We don't just medicate with medicine, but we medicate with "alchohol", we medicate with "shopping", we medicate with "eating", we medicate with "television", we medicate with "drug abuse".  There are so many things that we medicate ourselves with.  I don't "blame" anyone for that, I'm just saying that it's a toxic cycle.  The fight or flight mechanism in all of us, is there to respond to an immediate threat to us or some...