womenNtune

When I first started being a full-time homemaker, it became a snare to me.  I was very hard on myself and put alot of expectations on myself that were not from God.  My husband would get up early in the morning and go to work and I always felt like I couldn't sleep late.  Not that I got up with him but I remember feeling guilty if I slept past like 9:00am.  Honestly, I felt guilty doing alot of things.  Things that if I could of done freely, I would probably be a lot further then I am now in my writing and other giftings that God has given me.  I spent 2 days a week at home cleaning.  The other 3 days, I struggled.  When I would go to the bookstore to read, I felt guilty.  I would think "Is it fair that I get to relax at the bookstore while my husband out working to provide for us?".  Sometimes I would want to go to the Amish market and eat breakfast.  They had a restaurant in the Amish market with great breakfast.  I would ...

     I went through depression 12+ years ago.  I was in my 20s.  I had just became a follower of Christ.  Not many months after that some dark times followed.  Life seemed well on the outside.  But for some reason on the inside there was a deep gloom and darkness.  It was like living in a dark tunnel with a glimpse of light.  I knew that light was Jesus.  It was only a glimpse of it though.  I didn't understand why I felt the way that I felt.  Something was wrong but I didn't know what.  I felt trapped and unable to get of of the dark gloom that had surrounded me.  Why couldn't I feel happiness and joy anymore??  I didn't understand.  I would suffer from horrific stomach cramps.  My stomach would get in knots.  I didn't tell anyone because I didn't think they would understand.  Hell, I didn't even understand.  I knew they would look at me and say "What reason do you have to be depr...