Remembering and Reflecting

Almost 10 years ago I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. God somehow got me to the place and time of my conversion. I can't take credit it. Somehow God saved me. I really don't know how He did it, He just did. I don't know how in the world He reached into my heart and turned it towards Him. Turning away from the partying, the drinking, the sex. How in the world? It wasn't an intellectual process of my thinking these things through and deciding somehow that they were not beneficial for me. No, that wasn't what happened. I know for a long time I wanted something better for my life, but I didn't know what that was or how to get there, but God did! It was all God. He appealed to my heart in a way that only He can to draw me to Himself and to the life He wants for me. Trust me, God has a good plan for our lives if we follow His plan.

Then I got married almost 5 years ago. I'm not going to lie it was hard in the beginning. Your bringing all your stuff into a lifelong relationship with someone else and starting the journey of becoming one; it's not easy at first. As we approach our 5 year anniversary, I find myself comparing it to when I got saved. Somehow my husband and I have gotten to this amazing place in our marriage. It's amazing to me, I can't speak for him. Somehow, I'm on fire for him again just like when we were dating. Somehow when I take in a glimpse of him I have to look away if I am to contain myself. Somehow I have this huge crush on my husband. I'm like "Wow, how in the world did I get here?". I can't say exactly how I got to this place in our marriage, but I can say that the more I rest, trust, and abide in the grace of God; the more I'm able to receive the grace my husband extends. It seems "being at rest in the grace of God" is a good look for me and it turns my husband on.

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Think before you defend yourself

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The best fight ever...............

Marriage.................................It's not easy. It is a colorful creation full of ups and downs, highs and lows. And some desperate times. It cannot be done without God. It is His invention and only He can navigate you through it. But marriage is worth fighting for. You don't always have the energy to fight anymore and that's ok. It's ok to not be ok. It's ok to not be ok with your marriage. It's ok to not be ok with your life. Just know that not being ok, with your marriage, doesn't mean that it's over. Not being ok, with your life, doesn't mean that its over. In the last couple weeks I have struggled with temptations of epic magnitude. God has seen me in my struggle. Struggling with my emotions. Struggling with my desires. Struggling to stay faithful. He saw me. He didn't look at me and say "I can't believe you are thinking this". He didn't look at me ans say "I can't believe you are

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