In the past I have focused alot of my writing to paying attention to how God designed us and what to do with our strengths and weaknesses. Women fall victim to comparing themselves to other women alot. The bible says this is a foolish thing to do. We look at other women who are doing certain things "better" or "differently" and we question our own adequacy in that area. Just like when the enemy tempted Eve to eat the fruit from the tree which God commanded us not to eat from . The enemy told us how eating this particular fruit would change us, "make us better" if you will. Or so we thought. We saw something we thought could make us better and believed the "lie". We have been believing it ever since.
With all that in mind, I got to thinking today. I am naturally a very "at ease" person. I'm not very structured, I'm guess I'm a little loose with things. I have tried time and time again for years to put myself on a more structured schedule and do things in a more structured way in my life. The fruit is always fustration for my family and I. When I'm "at ease" and operating in my normal, "kind of loose" fashion, the fruit is always peace and joy. While being structured and organized can sometimes "feel" good to me. It's always short lived and the joy and peace of my family that gets sacrificed for it, is never worth it to me. I have been told in the past that I need to try harder, that I just need to keep being persistent, etc. etc. I believe some people have seen me as passive and sometimes I've asked myself "Am I just lazy?". After years and years of trying to be something that I'm not, I'm starting to realize that certain things just are not a part of how God designed me. I know that the Lord is a God of decency and order. But I also think the church has kind of put their own spin on what "Decency and Order" means or what it should look like. I think a lot of it comes from what the rest of the world says it's suppose to look like. I am starting to see that there is a divine order in what some might think as "chaos". I'm not giving myself a ticket to be lazy, because I really enjoy being productive in my life. But I am beginning to realize that God only knows how to work "His order" into my design. I'm not saying there is something wrong with organized people. Everybody is designed differently. I'm just saying you shouldn't beat yourself up because you are not like someone else and we should be sensitive to our design and the fruit that results from going about life a certain way.
The lessons I have mentioned above has also given me a little insight on whether something is an "Enemy Attack" or "God's Hand" at work. In the past, when I have been trying to move forward in certain things that seemed like "Godly" moves to make in my life I have been restrained in different ways from doing it. I have been told by some it's the enemy but I have learned that a lot of it was God's hand trying to guide me. One of the differences between a "Enemy attack" and the "Hand of God" is that you can overcome a enemy attack. You can never overcome the "Hand of God". Honestly if you spend time in God's word daily, He can help you discern between when it's the enemy coming against you vs. when it's God trying to keep you from moving in a certain direction. While it's not always easy to tell, there is always a "peace" that accompanies the hand of God in your life while a Enemy attack makes you feel discouraged, beat down, and inadequate. God does not make you feel that way when His hand is guiding you. God makes you feel confident, empowered, and able to overcome any attack from the enemy. I find for myself that when I am trying to go against the "Hand of God" it comes out in a sort "striving" type of manner. But when I am overcoming an enemy attack it manifests in the form of perserverance.
I love my family and I want to give them something precious everyday. I believe that precious thing is letting God work through how He designed me. I believe this is one of the greatest things I can do for my husband and children.
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