Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Receiving out

Something happened to me yesterday that really caused me to examine myself and my committment to God overall.  Even more specifically made me question whether or not my pride gets in the way from me being able to receive the good things that the Lord wants to give to me.  For those of you who don't know, I am a full-time stay-at-home mom to a 4 year old little girl and a 4 month old boy.  I have my hands full.  Last night when my son went down for a evening nap, I decided that I would go up to our room with him in my arms and take a little break.  Well, he woke up and my break was scratched.  But I sensed the Holy Spirit still telling me to take a break.  I reasoned with the Holy Spirit that I could try to take a break with my son right there with me, but I kept sensing the Holy Spirit urging me to take a break.  So I told my husband I needed to get out and take a break.  Once I got out I really sensed the Holy Spirit leading me to see if I could get my hair done at the Bubbles.  But I was like "No, my husband did not plan to be with Carson (4 month) but for so long".  See, my baby does start to cry when I'm away past a certain amount of time and I knew my husband was not prepared to deal with that.  So I called him and asked if he minded if I get a blow out real quick.  He asked me how long it would take and so on and I said nevermind.  He called me back and told me to go ahead, but I was turned off from the whole idea because I felt rushed.  I came home, both my husband and I knew that I should of went through with getting my hair done and he apologized for not being more supportive, and this may seem like a small thing but it is major because it was something the Holy Spirit was leading me to do and I was hesitant all the way through it.  Keep in mind I had a melt down earlier that evening crying because I feel like I can't keep up with everything that I want to keep up with around our home.  I had been trying all day to contact a cleaning company to get them in, but I kept getting voice mails, wrong numbers, etc.  Plus we were suppose to have somebody come in today but she called and cancelled on Monday because she had people quit and out for sick leave.  So I was growing very fustrated and hopeless.  Then I women I had left a voicemail with called back later that evening.  She was the first company I contacted.  She just happened to be a cleaning and organizing company.  When I talked to her she said she would fold my laundry, put the kids toys away and oranize anything I needed.  My husband said he was looking for someone like her to help me too, someone more like a housekeeper.  Immediately I said to myself, can we afford her.  I haven't gotten a quote from her yet.  She is coming tomorrow to give me a quote.  But in my mind I'm like oh I was just expecting someone who was just going to clean, but in my heart I'm like "wow it would be great to have someone come in and do all these additional things.  These are good things that God wants to give me, I should receive that this is for me, instead of questioning it.  Many of us will accept adversity but have a problem when it comes to God wanting to bless us above and beyond whatever we could think or ask for.  The bible says in Ephesians 3:20

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, 21 to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

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