Wednesday, October 15, 2014

What is letting go

A dear friend of mine caused me to question today, what it really means to let go.  Even though I hate to spend times talking about Satan, if it's to my advantage I will.  I have noticed that the area where the devil attacks me most is where it concerns my children.  These are mental attacks. But I also am always concerned about whether or not I am giving my kids what they need in every area.  I'm starting to wonder if that "concern" or is it worry, but I started to ask myself "Is that concern a doorway for Satan.  I noticed He always hits me right there, making me feel inadequate and even producing feelings of fear when it comes to my role as a mother.  It's almost like I start having conversations with myself about how I am mothering and then Satan joins the conversation.  It starts with me, but it seems I am giving him ammunition  to oppress me in this area.  While these episodes are short lived, they tend to happen pretty frequently.  Today I started wondering about the phrase "Letting go and letting God".  I wonder if since the enemy constantly comes at me in this area, that maybe I need to go in an extreme opposite way; in the way I think in this area.  The only way I can remove any ammunition, in this area, that the enemy might use against me is to starve him.  Sometimes we think it's ok, as believers to dabble a little bit in worry.  Even "concern" seems noble.  That's what I kept telling myself.  But there were occasions in the bible where Jesus said "do not worry" and "do not let your heart be troubled",  I tend to dabble in these things a little bit, even though Jesus told me not to, I find that when I do allow my heart to be troubled or allow myself to engage in a little bit of worry, here comes the devil beating me down with it.  The area of motherhood, it is so evident for me of this work of the enemy.  Look at the scripture below:

1 Peter 5

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
Be sober, be vigilant; because[c] your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

Notice after it says cast your cares upon God, it talks about how the devil walks about seeking whom he may devour.  I have decided that in the area that the devil attacks me the most, I am going to go to the extreme opposite of worry. No more ammunition for the devil. Every time I feel my thoughts bordering on worry or being troubled, even if it's disguised as concern;  I will not indulge, even dabble a little in it,  I will resist immediately and cast my cares on God.  I can only do this through the help of God's Holy Spirit.  I'm praying the Holy Spirit will help me identify these troubling thoughts quickly. so I can cast them on God.   I think the problem sometimes, is that our thoughts can kind of take us on a tangent before we have identified them.  We don't always recognize, where a seemingly reasonable thought can lead to worry or being troubled.  We just don't know it at the time, until we are confessing certain things out our mouth.  Like I find that I will start saying things like "I don't feel like I'm doing enough with Carson (my 2 yr old son).  Or I'll say "I feel so inadequate". I find that my thoughts go on a tangent, then the devil enters the conversation and says thing like "You are inadequate for your children" or "You are not doing enough at home with your son".  Then I just confess exactly what I hear.  No more, with the Holy Spirit's help I can shoot down those wrong thoughts, in Jesus's name.

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