womenNtune

Marriage.................................It's not easy.  It is a colorful creation full of ups and downs, highs and lows.  And some desperate times.  It cannot be done without God. It is His invention and only He can navigate you through it.  But marriage is worth fighting for.  You don't always have the energy to fight anymore and that's ok.  It's ok to not be ok.  It's ok to not be ok with your marriage.  It's ok to not be ok with your life.  Just know that not being ok, with your marriage, doesn't mean that it's over.  Not being ok, with your life, doesn't mean that its over.   In the last couple weeks I have struggled with temptations of epic magnitude.  God has seen me in my struggle.  Struggling with my emotions.  Struggling with my desires.  Struggling to stay faithful.  He saw me. He didn't look at me and say "I can't believe you are thinking this".  He didn't look at me ans say "I...

God is speaking to me and I can't focus on anything else right now.  I'm trying to get my homework done but I can't.  In this moment nothing else matters but what I hear.  T his is about love, this about your truth, and what to do with the bigness of that truth.  "Truth is huge and cannot be contained .  We do try to contain our truth though.  We try to contain it in the way we dress, in the way we talk, in the way we talk, in the way we move about in this world.  This is because many of us are scared of our truth.  Many of us are scared of what it might do to our relationships, our families, our careers even.  T ruth is not always pretty, not always cut and dry, and can be downright messy most of the time .  But we know without a doubt that "truth" is good.  Jesus said that when we know the truth, the truth makes us free (John 8,32) 31  Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My dis...

I get on social media and I do my best not to be critical of anyone.  It's not my place.  I do find it kind of interested how personal relationships, insecurities, and hurts are expressed where the whole world can see.  Social media is like this enigma that continues to spark my interest.  I find myself asking "why would he/she share something so deep and personal with people who don't know them or even care?".  I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing.  I just find myself being very curious and intrigued about why? There is one trend I see, on social media, that sparks a bit of concern.  The amount of time we spend defending ourselves and our decisions on social media.  I get concerned because I realize that when we spend a "noticeable" amount of time defending ourselves publicly, it is a strong indication that their is a much bigger private battle going on within .  Social media speaks volumes to me about inner battles we go through. ...

Honestly, I felt like I had to document this.  Lately God has been speaking to me.  He has been speaking about wanting to do great things through me.  But what He has told is that He cannot do that if I don't learn to stop trying to figure out how I'm going to get things done.  I am a person who likes to know "how" I'm going to do something "before" I do it.  I am a natural strategist.  God wants to do things through me that are bigger than me and bigger than my ability to strategize .  It's not that God doesn't want us to use our abilities to plan and strategize.  He most certainly does.  He just doesn't want those abilities to get in the way of trusting Him and taking big steps of faith . He wants us to get excited when He brings things in our path that we cannot do in our own strength.  He wants us to be happy when He brings something in our path where we cannot even conceive of how it's going to get done.   Again, I...

It was Tuesday and my daughter normally goes to dance for 2 hours.  I normally drop her off and then go to the bookstore and do some reading until it's time to pick her up.  Well she wasn't feeling well after school and did not go to dance.  This change in schedule really threw me off.  I knew I was sensitive to changes in routine but I didn't realize just how sensitive I was.  Honestly, I didn't know what to do with myself.  Nothing felt right.  My husband told me that I needed to do something, that I needed to go to the bookstore anyway or take a break.  Even though I did not take his advice this time, he was right and I will take his advice going forward.  He is learning so much about me, my needs, and the best way for me to operate.  I'm realizing that God uses our husbands to mold and shape us into the wives that He wants us to be.  Today is Thursday and I had another situation occur at my kids' school.  I was upset ab...

When I first started being a full-time homemaker, it became a snare to me.  I was very hard on myself and put alot of expectations on myself that were not from God.  My husband would get up early in the morning and go to work and I always felt like I couldn't sleep late.  Not that I got up with him but I remember feeling guilty if I slept past like 9:00am.  Honestly, I felt guilty doing alot of things.  Things that if I could of done freely, I would probably be a lot further then I am now in my writing and other giftings that God has given me.  I spent 2 days a week at home cleaning.  The other 3 days, I struggled.  When I would go to the bookstore to read, I felt guilty.  I would think "Is it fair that I get to relax at the bookstore while my husband out working to provide for us?".  Sometimes I would want to go to the Amish market and eat breakfast.  They had a restaurant in the Amish market with great breakfast.  I would ...

I got up this morning, went through the 2 hour process of getting my kids ready for school.  Once they were at school I came back home and decided I was going to read my bible, reflect on some things, and write some things down in my planner.  Well guess what?????  A wave of drowsiness washed over me.....................I had coffee in my hand and I still got so sleepy.  So sleepy that I absolutely had to allow myself to drift off into a slumber.  I had scheduled a workout at my favorite workout spot, Orange Theory.  But I was so sleepy that I was tempted to cancel.  Thanks to Orange Theory you can't cancel, the same day, via their app.  You have to call and even then you might lose your class that you paid for.  They normally have a waiting list for classes.  With that said I forced my butt up and into action to get to my class.  I'm so thankful to Orange Theory and the way they promote accountability, especially during this spe...

     I went through depression 12+ years ago.  I was in my 20s.  I had just became a follower of Christ.  Not many months after that some dark times followed.  Life seemed well on the outside.  But for some reason on the inside there was a deep gloom and darkness.  It was like living in a dark tunnel with a glimpse of light.  I knew that light was Jesus.  It was only a glimpse of it though.  I didn't understand why I felt the way that I felt.  Something was wrong but I didn't know what.  I felt trapped and unable to get of of the dark gloom that had surrounded me.  Why couldn't I feel happiness and joy anymore??  I didn't understand.  I would suffer from horrific stomach cramps.  My stomach would get in knots.  I didn't tell anyone because I didn't think they would understand.  Hell, I didn't even understand.  I knew they would look at me and say "What reason do you have to be depr...

I had a vision of a little girl doing a graceful dance, she looks beautiful and graceful.  Then there was an adult woman chastising the little girl.  The little girl stopped dancing and looked at the woman in dismay.  I was reluctant to blog about this because it is very personal for me.  That adult woman is me and that little girl............................also is me.  Money is an area of life that I've struggled with for many years,  I developed a peculiar, even perverse, relationship with it over the years.  But it wasn't always like that.  When I was a teenager, I never stressed about money and work was never stressful for me.  I worked alot in high school.  Had 2 jobs most of the time and even 3 at times.  I always had money.  The most important thing is that none of this even stressed me out.  Work never bothered me.  In fact I was very happy with work and being able to earn income.  God showed me that I...

Have you ever thought that you can't get back the time that you lost?  The years that you lost?  The opportunities that you wasted?  Well I once thought that way.  Many years of my young adult life were spent struggling as a result of one bad decision after another.  Bad financial decisions, bad relationship decisions, bad decisions with my body, bad decisions with my education.  There was a time I thought those opportunities were lost. At forty one years old, it honestly feels like God has restored what was lost.  I am a college student again, I have financial stability again,  I am excited about all the opportunities before me, just like my younger self, before the mistakes that sent my life spiraling downward.  I'm here again standing in a very similar place to that of when I was 19 and 20, in my early years of college.  I haven't stood in this place since then.  There is one difference...........I was not walking with God th...

 I got consumed with concern and worry this week and obsessive about some other things that I won't mention.  All I will say is that it sent me spiraling into this abyss, cycling in and out of "worry" and "obsession", then "worry" again and "obsession" AGAIN.  Worried about some things going on in my son's first grade class and obsessing about work and money.  That was my week "worrying and obsessing".  It consumed me, I don't think I did anything else until today and I can't believe it's Friday.  The whole week spent in "worrying and obsessing" I Can't even tell you how badly I needed to blog today. This is truly my therapy.  Well I actually have a few "therapies"  If you haven't already noticed that I'm a mess, I'm sure I will have you convinced after reading this post.  Here we go!!! I have been watching a new Netflix series called the "Innocents", which I have sto...

I spoke with my son about God being one God expressed in three people.  I know that there are people that say it's confusing and some have even tried to draw people away from following CHrist, in doing so.  It is not confusing.  There is some mystery to it, but it's not confusing.  If we belive that all creation reflects the nature of God, then we can also understand more about God being expressed in 3 forms (Father, Son, Holy Spirit).  This is totally in line with who He has presented Himself to be in all creation.  Lets take the example of water.  A simple, but necessary, element that is essential to our survival.  Jesus talks about giving us living water (John 4:10).  We know that water comes from God but we also know that water can be expressed in 3 forms: A solid, a gas, and a liquid.  In all these forms it's still water.  In these 3 forms, water is still water.  Now, if God made water to be able to do this and all ...

I had to blog about this.  I couldn't keep this to myself.  Something happened a couple days ago.  Just to share a little bit of the backstory before I tell you, my husband and I had a huge financial crisis about 3 years ago.  Things have gotten better little by little but it takes grind, especially on his part.  He is a great husband and dad so he takes pleasure in providing for his family.  This is a great entry point into what I'm about to share with you.  As we were approaching the beginning of the school year there were some other expenses approaching as well.  My husband and I believe our kids should be involved in extra curricular activities.  As they get older we feel they need constructive ways to channel their energy.  And they need to get away from the constant lure of the Ipad.  This is a big challenge for today's generation and you have to be proactive, especially with your children.  Anyway,  my daughter wa...

I am a substitute teacher, college student, mother, wife, Christian, author, founder of WomenNTune.......................and now I am a full service Instacart Shopper.  This is part-time work that I picked up until my substituting jobs start coming in.  Instacart is known as the "Uber of grocery shopping".  I had my first shift today. It was only a 3 hours shift.  Even with the ALL the technical issues I experienced at first, I still found the experience to be very relaxing.  I don't know.................maybe it was because I got to grocery shop without the kids with me., even if it was for somebody else.  I found it to be a very relaxing experience.  This day is not considered one of their busy days so I only received 2 orders.  The first customer I delivered to...................wait I forgot to tell you that as a full service shopper, I deliver to the homes as well as shop.  My first customer that I delivered to was so very sweet....

Diary of a broke adult Thursday 6:47 It was 5:05 on a Thursday.   I got home feeling down about my bank account being so low on funds again.   I open my bank app, type in my password and realized that I only have eight dollars and some cents in my account.   I know my husband put money in my account.   When I take a look at the transactions, I see that he put $40 in my account yesterday.   Where did it all go???   I hadn’t been out spending money.   I notice a charge from the Family Mart, in my neighborhood.   It was suspect because I thought that had already hit my account.   I performed a search of transactions with “Family Mart” and something from the barbershop, that I take my son to, came up.   Now I knew that I had some problems with their system, that day, when I took my son to get his hair cut.   They couldn’t perform the transaction and after one attempt, we cancelled it. I went to the ATM to get cash, to pay. ...